/THE MELODY AND THE NOISE/

I've decided...

2010-05-15T19:54:00.001-04:00

...that I have something to say.

And it may not be important.

But it needs to be said for me...

I love to write. I honestly do. And as life has been found to move at a much faster pace in the real world, i.e. after college with a real job and a fiancée, I'm finding that the simpler things seem to have all but disappeared.

Everything that I do lately seems to fit into two categories.

Either I'm doing something to check off my to-do list or a to-do list built for me by someone else.

Or, I'm doing absolutely nothing beneficial at all in hopes of recharging my batteries to tackle the next round of things-to-get-done that is surely on its way soon.

And by nothing I mean legitimately nothing. Vegging out in front of the TV or mindlessly roaming the internet. Things that I've come to believe are not healthy at all.

However, there are healthy ways to "recharge", and one of those ways for me is to write. Writing music. Writing blog posts. Writing notes to my bride-to-be. Writing anything.

It's healthy. It's beneficial. It's relaxing.

And yet when I'm done I feel like I've accomplished something.

I'm sure I could delve deeper into it all than this, but honestly this is what I wanna take away from coming to this realization.

In my life I want to do the things that both leave me recharged and refreshed yet leave me feeling like I've accomplished something as well.

So I write...

What is it for you? What is it that you do that leaves you with a sense of accomplishment while giving you peace?

i have nothing...

2010-02-07T23:53:00.002-05:00

there's no greater feeling
than the rush of Your love
no sunrise or sunset has ever been so amazing
without knowing the Hands that drew it up
You hold me there in Your Hands; in Your Heart
and I wanna give You every piece of me but some days i don't know where to start
You're everywhere; my Everything
and all i want to be
is to be perfect for You
but if i was
there would be no need for You for me

and i need You for me
more than anything
and i pray; i pray so hard
that You continue to love me like i know You do
because i can't get it right
and that's why i'm me
because first
You were You

My new 'Maple Delight'...

2009-10-15T22:16:00.005-04:00

So... I love my Tanglewood Heritage...

I've been playing it for years... It's gotten me where I am now, and I'm absolutely still in love with its sound...

But...

Some have mentioned that it may be time for an upgrade, and at long last I heeded the advice...

And the story behind my new guitar is pretty sweet...

6 months back I went into Guitar Center and played the exact guitar I bought today...

I went back every few weeks for a couple of months to play it, but at the time it was well out of my price range...

But, Guitar Center is right near the office of my vocal coach so it didn't hurt to play anyways...

After a couple months or so, I traipse in only to discover it's been sold... Needless to say, it was a sad day for me, but I knew I couldn't have afforded it, and ho hum, I went on living life...

Well, today I made the realization that I've saved up a good bit of money, and that a new acoustic is all that this musician feels he needs to "complete" where he wants to be right now...

(Notice the word 'complete' in quotations and the phrase "right now"... I am under no illusion that my "completion" may only last a week, but for now and for the benefit of my checking account let's hope this is the case...)

So, I went searching for this same guitar I wanted 6 months back on Guitar Center Online hoping that they may have one in another store around the country and maybe I could have it shipped to me, and lo and behold I find it in the store in the same store only now it's $1100 cheaper than it was b/c it's been "on the shelf" for 6 months...

I call them, and they have it...

Guy says it's been in the back for a while now b/c it was suppose to ship but didn't for some reason...

He pulls it out for me. I show up. I play it for like an hour in the store trying to decide if this is the one...

Knowing all the while...

This is the one.

So I buy it.
Breedlove Performance Series Focus Maple

(Somewhere angels are singing...)

I realize that a full maple body has its strong and weak points in sound, but I think with the right equalization I could really make this the sweetest sounding guitar I've ever put through a sound system...

This Sunday will tell the tale, but until then here are some pics... Hope you enjoy... It's pretty even if you know nothing about guitars...

I got that bluesy feeling again...

2009-10-14T23:29:00.003-04:00

So, lately I've been on this bend of writing worship songs so that the band and I can make a sweet record and go places... which may or may not happen...

That's in God's hands... (both the record and going places...)

But I re-got the urge from my older days to write something a little more bluesy/jazzy/lots of 7ths tonight and out came these words...

I've been listening to Zach Williams album, 'Story Time' a ton lately...

Never heard of the guy before? No worries... Neither had I 'til he sang at Catalyst the other day and totally rocked a song he had written and then sang his version of 'Come Thou Fount'...

His voice is haunting and SOLID...

And the feel of his record is nothing like contemporary Christian stuff or P/W, which is absolutely a blessed relief for me b/c I feel like ever since I've taken a job as a FTWL (full-time worship leader) (and, yes, I just made that acronym up) I've listened to nothing but P/W (praise and worship) and I just needed a really good awesomely crafted genuine musical break...

He brought it. And then some...

So, I thought to myself...

"I bet writing something a little out of the P/W genre for one night certainly can't hurt ya."

And I was right...

It's amazing how quickly it all comes back...

Enough about the journey... Here are the lyrics... Written quickly and with much honesty to some bluesy chords... Make up the melody in your head for now...

And I hate being alone
Feels like sadness is hanging from the walls
But with no picture frames to hang it on
There's nothing but holes
Sitting with the TV on
In a house that ain't never felt like home
The volume's at a conversational tone
And all my best friends are on / still alone

So I give in to You
And I got faith in what You called me to
I just gotta see it through
Here's me happy singing the blues
And you know I won't question You
I just gotta see it through

I know this don't make much sense
I'd rather make dollars instead
And none of it compares
To the joy in you / it's true
I just wanna live this life
Of sometimes pain and strife
And look back and know that the I in I
Wasn't me, it was You / it's true

So I give in to You
And I got faith in what You called me to
I just gotta see it through
Here's me happy singing the blues
And you know I won't question You
I just gotta see it through

Insert wicked awesome guitar solo and some sax or something and jam until the sun comes up...

That's it... Enjoy.

Leave feedback... The blog misses you. And me.

Let's do this more often... Deal.

Wondering and Wandering...

2009-08-12T20:32:00.005-04:00

I'm failing at consistently writing a blog...

I've been unbelievably busy the past few weeks, and while I don't consider this to be an acceptable excuse, someone's gotta take the blame, right?

So, the long and short of it... I'm still working at Roswell Street Baptist Church in Marietta...

It's been great so far, but I'm certainly having a hard time locking into their vision for the position they've hired me for...

I certainly see the role I'm filling, but in the end where does this role lead me personally, and more importantly, where will it take this church...

God has so got a plan for me, but, wow, if sometimes things don't come together like you expect them to...

I'm sitting outside Marietta Pizza Company right now. I had some slices. Listened to Andy Stanley's leadership podcast. Did a little work. Wrote another blog...

Now I'm writhing this...

Andy teaches so well and so much in one little 30 minute conversation. It's ridiculous...

But what throws me the most is this...

The more I learn about how to do these things and do them well, the more confused I become about what this life and my life is all about...

I know what I'm suppose to be doing... "Making disciples." But I don't know in what way to go about doing that that will most glorify the Kingdom...

I listened to Andy's podcast called, "High Performance Teams".

I want to implement and be a part of these types of teams...

But...

Where?

How?

When? Now?

Here are my notes from the podcast. Staying steadfast in prayer... My love for the Cross and my Creator has lessened none and grown so much more. Have no fear. I will succeed and not for my glory... Much love to all of you that take the time to wonder and wander here...

High Performance Teams

- If you don't like talking things out through meetings, then you're probably not a good team leader...

Here's how we create high performance teams...

A. - A clearly defined problem... "What's going to happen if we don't solve this?"
This is not a goal. A goal is an add-to. Fixing a problem means something good won't happen.
- One of the major problems God is calling us to solve is irrelevant church environments.
What does this do?
1. This gives a team a reason to be.
2. This gives a context for passion.
3. Teams dissolve when the problems are
all solved.

B. An agreed upon solution is key and that takes time.
1. Agreement necessitates unfiltered debate.
2. I can't concede my point until I know you have heard me out.
"Only when everyone has put their opinions and perspectives on the table can the team confidently commit to the decision." We want our staff to agree to commit to a decision not just agree to do a task.
3. Every team member must buy in before they will whole-heartedly pitch-in. "People will commit their hearts to a cause but not to a task."
- If you want their hearts involved then you have allow them to be involved to the solution.

So... What is the problem? What is the solution?

C. Clearly assigned roles.
1. Every team member needs to know exactly what's expected of them.

You hire employees. You create a team.
Employees greatest concern is usually not the problems at work. They show for a paycheck. Teams show up to accomplish something.

Do we continue to tell people what to do, how to do, and when to do by, or do we cast the vision to to fix the problem with an agreed upon solution?

"God works through you..."

2009-07-02T23:10:00.005-04:00

I've been totally and completely enthralled of late with the television show, "Kings". It follows the main character David, a young man from a farming community that has slain a "giant", as he rises through the ranks of his war-torn country...

Sound familiar?

The show is strongly based on the story of David from I Samuel. It sets the stage in modern times, and for the most part sticks to the general outline of the story adding things here and there for dramatic effect and overall continuity, but in general, the story of his rise remains...

David is my favorite biblical character. Hands down. No doubt about it...

I love the story of David...

Not because he becomes king or slays giants or tends sheep...

But because He is a man after God's own heart...

And he screws up royally time and again...

It's unbelievably reassuring to me, this grace that God shows to David. God has a plan for his life, and in spite of the fact that David's shortcomings often stray him from the path, God still accomplished what He intended to...

On the episode I watched tonight, the character "David" tells the king that he often doesn't know how God works, but that after the act of grace the king shows, David believes that God works through the king.

A couple episodes back "Reverend Samuels" informs the king that he has lost favor with God, and that God is no longer with him.

So I wonder to myself...

After the words that David said tonight...

Is this just human error in the script? Someone, somewhere forgot that the king is out of God's favor, and they wrote in this scene that strongly suggests that he is? This easily could be the case...

It's a T.V. show. It doesn't have to be absolutely perfect in its plot lines all the time.

Or for that matter, the character "David" can think that the king is in God's favor even if he's not. There's nothing wrong with that as far as the plot is concerned either...

But what if...

Whether the writers meant it this way or not...

What if there's something more to what "David" said...

Something deeper?

Maybe I'm the only one that will see this, but who I am to discount the idea that God can show me something through a T.V. drama that may or may not make it through its first season...

(By the way, it has a strong possibility of getting canceled so if you like the sound of things so far take a chance and watch it. Go to hulu.com and search "Kings".)

I truly think that God lives and moves through our lives in any way He so desires, and He can speak through any medium he chooses...

Tonight, I think He chose to show me something through this show...

And I'm listening...

And this is what concerns me...

Too often we place ourselves in positions to take on the world...

There's nothing wrong with this, but the motive can be...

Sometimes it's about fame and popularity and fortune...

And now it seems these things can be attained even through Christian culture...

Contemporary Christian Music offers fame and fortune. Leading a mega-church offers fame and fortune. Writing the next huge Christian movement book offers fame and fortune.

We want to be Andy Stanley and Chris Tomlin and Steve Fee and Rob Bell and Craig Groeschel and Erwin McManus and Hillsong United...

And hear me now... I'm not discounting any of those guys...

They all have amazing ministries...

Technically Andy Stanley is my lead pastor. You better know I support his ministry! :)

It's not those guys that I'm concerned with...

It's us guys trying to be those guys that worries me...

Those guys have been blessed by God and given the opportunity to touch thousands of lives for the good of the Kingdom, and as far as I know they've done so with all morals and humility and faith intact...

And it's possible that I could one day do the same...

It's possible that I could touch thousands of lives for the cause of Christ one day with all my morals and humility and faith intact...

But here's the big question...

Would I... Would you...

Sacrifice those morals or that humility or that faith to become famous and popular even if you look liked you were serving the Christian community?

Because I don't think serving the Christian community is the same as living a life pleasing to God...

Would we give away some of the things we value most for things that really mean nothing?

Because here's the scary part...

"David" believes that God is working through a man that has lost God's favor...

And God is.

God is doing just that. God is working through a man who no longer has His favor, and why?

Because God's purpose and plan is above our plans and our purposes, and He will work through me whether I choose His path for my life or my own...

Because He is God, and His will will be done...

So will I be content if His purpose for my life consists of little fame and no fortune?

Or will I strive for those things in spite of what He really desires for me?

Or does He truly desire those things for my life, and He waits for me to take those steps humbly?

I can't tell you at this point. All I know is where He has me now, and what I'm doing tomorrow...

But I know that if I learn nothing else tonight, it's not to confuse God working through me with my being in His will...

He will make use of me and my life for His kingdom wherever I am; whatever I choose to do...

It's up to me to continue to pursue Him and His will for my life daily. Only then can I be secure in the belief that I am where I should be and on the path He's called me to...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I Samuel

^11-12
Samuel said, "What on earth are you doing?"

Saul answered, "When I saw I was losing my army from under me, and that you hadn't come when you said you would, and that the Philistines were poised at Micmash, I said, 'The Philistines are about to come down on me in Gilgal, and I haven't yet come before God asking for his help.' So I took things into my own hands, and sacrificed the burnt offering."

^13-14
"That was a fool thing to do," Samuel said to Saul. "If you had kept the appointment that your God commanded, by now God would have set a firm and lasting foundation under your kingly rule over Israel. As it is, your kingly rule is already falling to pieces. God is out looking for your replacement right now. This time he'll do the choosing. When he finds him, he'll appoint him leader of his people. And all because you didn't keep your appointment with God!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pray that I keep my appointment with God. That I continue to pursue His will for my life, and that no matter where I end up, I get there because it's where He intended me to be there...

I want to be used...

But I want to be used in the best way possible...

Fame and fortune are of no equal to His will...

And I pray that I steadfastly continue to believe this...

I do think that I could one day reach thousands or millions for Him...

But I also know that attempting to do so outside of His will for my life is failure...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Romans

³ For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. ⁴ For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, ⁵ so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. ⁶ Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; ⁷ or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; ⁸ he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.
⁹ Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; ¹¹ not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; ¹² rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; ¹³ distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. ¹⁹ Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”^a]">[a] says the Lord. ²⁰ Therefore, “ If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”^b]">[b] ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More to come on this... I assure you.

Catching up...

2009-06-11T15:43:00.008-04:00

So I haven't written in far too long. My deepest apologies. It's just been a hectic few weeks getting readjusted to life back in my childhood home. Figuring out where I fit in, and what to do, and how to live. Not to mention I've taken a couple of days and exited back to Athens or Atlanta so getting settled in has been kind of impossible...

And with recent developments...

Getting settled...

Is again...

On hold.

I don't know if you know this, but I thought I would share with you if you don't...

Towards the end of this year I will go on staff with Longleaf Church, a partner of North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. We will start services in January and do preview services October-December. One of the best opportunities of my life. I'm so blessed to have the chance to work with such a great organization, especially as my "first" job. I honestly can't wait!

But... I do have to wait...

Seeing as we're not launching until January, I'm gonna have to find some work in the meantime. I'll do as much as I can with Longleaf until launch, but between now and then I've got mouths to feed! (Mostly just mine.)

So what to do in the interim?

Well, here's the answer...

Ready for the updates? I don't know if you are... To be honest I don't know if I am...

The rundown.

May 09 - I graduated.

May 16 - I moved from Athens, GA back to Byron, GA. Peach County. Land of my youth. Back in with my parents. Great people. But forever and always my parents... (For the record, it hasn't been so bad so far...)

May 18-22 - I stayed in Savannah for a week with that hot girlfriend I've got and her fam. They're good people too.

Through the next week. I led some worship and went to the Hillsong United concert and for the most part started to settle into life back in Middle Georgia. It actually was going pretty well, but the biggest need for me was the need for a job. So I started to look. Stuck some applications out there. Hoped for the best. Living the dream...

June 03 - That hot girl I like so much left for Ireland. I didn't cry, but if I had known how bad this was gonna suck I might have. Skype is awesome, but it doesn't quite do justice to an actual living, breathing person right in front of you. Ho hum, I'll survive. Moving on...

June 03-07 - Traveled around the greater metro-Atlanta area and into Athens for a few days organizing my life and truly exiting out of Athens completely.

At this point the interim job search has started to clarify itself...

Came home after that trip, and I've been in Byron, yet again, attempting to settle and find some work. Had a couple of conversations, but I didn't know what to make of it all just yet.

And then...

It all seemed to click...

Imagine shaking up a box with a puzzle in it, opening it, letting the pieces fall to the floor in all the right places...

Okay... Maybe not that dramatic... Or awesome...

But close.

Alas, finally to the point of all this...

Through the course of those few weeks I made contact with a lot of people and churches where I could best use my gifts in the mean time...

It worked...

The band and I are booked to lead worship through the rest of this month as well as August through December...

(We still have dates open in July though, as well as, a few August through December. Contact me!)

(What a shameless plug that was!)

(Well, I mean it is my blog. And my band. I am so allowed to do that!)

Back on track...

I've also gotten some interest in my graphic design work from a lot of folks, and I've been contracted out to do design for 2-3 churches and companies...

So that's awesome... Playing music and designing graphic stuff... Solid money in general, but neither of those things are permanent or guaranteed. I could go 3 weeks with tons to do and then 4 with nothing... Hmmm...

I need and like some permanancy...

And Roswell Street Baptist Church has been so gracious in obliging me with that!

When they heard that I wouldn't be hired until later this year with Longleaf they asked if I wouldn't mind joining them in their journey for a little while...

And of course I wouldn't mind doing that!

And so...

(Drum roll now. Finally.)

THE BIG NEWS!!!

This Saturday I will be making the move to Marietta, Georgia to live for the rest of the summer and possibly into the fall a bit. I'll be working with Roswell Street Baptist as an intern basically doing what I'll be doing with Longleaf. Organzing some systems, working on production, graphic design, and living the dream as an intern, which basically means a lot of grunt work too. It's good for me!!! We can't all do the glamorous stuff all the time... Not unless I get really, really famous one day....

It is a huge blessing. They'll be housing me for free which is a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders, and I'll get to work in an environment that will be hugely beneficial to my growth and development.

Could it be any more perfect?

Doubtful...

And that my friends is why faith will cast out all fear...

He will provide. Fear not...

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Believe me when I say that I had my doubts, but I know that He has a purpose for me... For us all.

He will come through...

Two songs that have been blowing me up lately... So pertinent...

Of course they're Hillsong... :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'll Come

Verse 1
I have decided I have resolved
To wait upon you Lord
My rock and redeemer shall not be moved
I?ll wait upon you Lord

Pre Chorus
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears

Chorus
You'll come let your glory fall
As you respond to us
Spirit reign flood our hearts
With holy fire again

Verse 2
We are not shaken we are not moved
We wait upon you Lord
Our Mighty deliverer my triumph and truth
I'll wait upon you Lord

Bridge
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With Everything

VERSE 1:
Open our eyes
To see the things that make Your heart cry
To be the church that You would desire
Your light to be seen

VERSE 2:
Break down our pride
And all the walls we’ve built up inside
Our earthly crowns and all our desires
We lay at Your feet

PRE CHORUS:
Let hope rise
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light
That every eye will see
Jesus our God
Great and mighty to be praised

VERSE 3:
God of all days
Glorious in all of Your ways
Oh the majesty the wonder and grace
In the light of Your Name

CHORUS:
With everything
With everything
We will shout for Your glory
With everything
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise

CHORUS 2:
Our hearts they cry
Be glorified
Be lifted high above all names
For You our King
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm loving it...

'Til next time...

Latest endeavor...

2009-05-26T15:55:00.005-04:00

////////////////////////////////////////

There is hope
There is change
There is a joy in Your name
Won't You carry me
There is grace
There is love
And there is peace through Your blood
Won't You carry me
Won't You carry me

////////////////////////////////////////

I find myself in one of the most interesting situations of my life...

Some days I'm really unsure of what's to come...

But today...

I'm totally at peace...

Totally stoked for whatever is coming my way...

And don't get me wrong... I still don't know what I'm doing... Like, literally at all...

But goodness, when was the last time you could say that?!

When was the last time you didn't know what tomorrow would bring?!

As of right now I don't have to set an alarm tomorrow morning...

But it's possible that before this day is over something may come up that changes that completely...

I may even have to wake up before dawn, heaven forbid...

But I revel in that fact right now...

So awesome...

And He is so faithful...

There really is hope and peace and love and change through Him...

How could I ever doubt how blessed I really am?!

So this is my latest endeavor...

Today I started a new song...

Tomorrow I'll do something else...

Or maybe not...

And it may keep raining...

Or maybe not...

Either way...

There is certainly hope...

Graduation should come with a Terms of Agreement...

2009-05-18T13:20:00.007-04:00

So goodbye didn't exactly happen as expected...

To be honest, the moving out, nor the boxing things up, nor the process in general happened as expected...

But regardless, I find myself at the same desk with the same computer 100 miles from my previous blogging locale...

And at this all important crossroads in my life, you would think I would have huge, insightful words full of depth and truth...

Not so much.

You see, I thought I would spend the last week in my college hometown "livin' the dream", but by the time I realized what was happening, everyone was already gone...

Graduation takes so much energy and time that you don't even realize a lot of people you may never see again have already headed out...

And it makes me kinda sad...

Not like I'm gonna cry or anything... Just a little ache that life would change so quickly without so much as a chance to evaluate the correct way to do the goodbye thing...

If there is a correct way...

Do I sound devastated?

I'm not... Really, I'm not... Just early nostalgia, maybe...

I don't doubt that God has placed me on a path moving towards a goal both of which hard to see at this point...

But I still have my faith that there is something out there worth moving towards...

Longleaf Church is already a beautiful, wonderful thing...

My family has always been a beautiful, wonderful thing...

And me back in Middle Georgia may very easily prove to be a beautiful, wonderful thing...

It even excites me a little... The opportunity to get to relearn my old stomping grounds with 5 years of college behind me...

Things already look different...

They're not rose-colored, but they're certainly not bleak either...

They just look different...

And I'd say that five years ago, I probably looked a little different as well...

I'd like to think we're both a little prettier now...

And maybe I am seeing things through those rose-colored lenses after all...

Life changes...

My life changed...

Stick with me...

It's about to be an exciting ride...

(Sometimes I am way too cliche'... Noted.)

A band is banded together...

2009-04-27T12:20:00.004-04:00

The ride back from Warner Robins yesterday may have been one of the best rides from my home to Athens ever...

It didn't seem to take nearly the two hours that usually lull me to sleep when driving it myself. And this is mostly because I spent the time with some great guys that have made this last year of college so worthwhile...

I can say with confidence that I would gladly have stuck around an extra year in Athens just to play music with these bandos. They are so extraordinarily talented, and not only have they continued to play with this immense talent that God's given them, but they've also strived to get better every step of the way...

If we never play another gig together, I know that while we played we were one of the tightest-knit groups I've ever seen when it comes to playing worship music...

Too often in this new scene of praise and worship churches have begun to hire out on a weekly basis for professional musicians...

And don't get me wrong...

They're absolutely getting what they pay for. They're getting a quality set every Sunday, and people certainly respond to it from a worship standpoint, which I would think in the end is the true goal, but...

One of the greatest things about doing worship music over the past 8 years or so of my life hasn't been so much the leading on the stage, but the growing with the band backstage...

More life change and growth has happened for me as a musician from growing with a set group of people pursuing a missional goal than anything else...

We push each other. And argue with each other. And create together. And love one another...

There's no way to create that kind of relationship playing together once every couple of weeks with random people...

Again, let me reiterate. I'm not knocking the current model. It absolutely works and works well for the congregations each week...

But, I worry for the musicians...

Are they being truly challenged in a way that they can respond to?

Growth is a personal endeavor for sure. If I'm not attempting to grow myself then no one's going to grow me...

I'm pretty confident that the musicians selected are striving for personal growth on their own time. These churches wouldn't use them if they didn't think that they could confidently put these individuals on stage if they didn't represent Christ in our world...

But there is something to be said for the growth of musicians surrounded by musicians...

A musician forced to work on his craft and his life around people that truly know what he's capable of and going through...

It's vulnerability...

And it's life-changing...

And it's just the type of small group that we should strive for regarding all our attenders...

So, why have we chosen to break this up?

For the quality of worship?

For the guarantee of yet another flawless Sunday?

Yes and yes... But let's consider this...

Doing something with excellence should mean doing what's best for all those involved...

The people on stage as well as off it...

Explosions in the Sky...

2009-04-04T23:58:00.010-04:00

I'm currently listening to Explosions in the Sky...

The band...

Hence, the use of capitalization... It lets the reader know I mean the band...

Not literal explosions in the sky...

Although, real explosions in the sky would probably require some serious capitalization...

And, yes, I really do get that off track that quickly...

Explosions in the Sky could possibly be one of the greatest bands ever. Most of you would recognize their music from the movie and TV show, "Friday Night Lights". (Which, by the way, is one of the best shows on television, but that's a discussion for another time.) Their music has no lyrics or vocalization. They create their music with only their instruments... and... it... is... so... good...

You can focus in on it, and really listen and analyze it, or you can do what I'm doing now and allow it to be the background noise/awesomeness, while you do something else. Either way works perfectly fine, and I'm highly recommending it as blogging music.

The funny thing is that I'm writing all this with the firm realization, that my last blog was epic in depth and breadth and thought, and I'm hoping that backing away from that kind of writing is simply OK.

I'm sure it's not the greatest piece of writing any of you have ever read, but it left me with some serious thoughts to ponder, and from some of your responses it seemed to resonate at least a little. And this isn't pride talking. This is realization setting in...

Writing a blog like that is hard work.

And I'm not smart enough or old enough or maybe even mature enough to be trying to act like I know what I'm talking about all the time...

Besides... I'm new to this whole blogging thing again, and I don't want to feel nailed down to produce mind-blowing/mind-numbing bits of prose every time I take a minute to share my thoughts... It could mean something really terrible... Like you thinking that I live my life thinking that deep and profound all the time.

I don't...

Sometimes, I think as simple as...

Explosions in the Sky is really awesome.

And I wanted to share that with you.

Because I really like them

And also, I want you to know something else.

And this is way out of left field, but it's where my head is tonight...

It's where I'm struggling to not be too dramatic and deep but feeling like this is way more important than telling you about an awesome band.

This is the quote/unquote, "important part".

It really is OK to have doubts about your faith.

No one should hate you for that. No one should expect you to be secure all the time with the idea that God sent His Son to die for your sins, and that you don't deserve it, but He did it anyway because He loves you, and this thing is called grace, and you had pretty much nothing to do with it, and all you're suppose to do is accept it no questions asked...

Questions should be asked.

And this is not the mindset of a lot of people in church.

But there are some places where people do believe this. Where it's easy to ask the tough questions, and to not have to know it all. Where you could have gone to church your whole life or never at all, and there's a place for you to fit in.

Where, you ask...

Well... If you don't know this, I'm in the process of helping to plant a church in Warner Robins, GA called Longleaf Church. It will be an amazing place for relationships and music and truth and love, and hopefully, one day, it will be very full of people asking really hard questions about all of these things, and relationships will be built to help people through those questions.

This place should be and will be a place where having doubts means your growing and learning, and where your building relationships... Not only with the people around you, but with a God who loves you because as those hard questions get answered your faith grows.

And, maybe you find a loving God on the other side of those doubts.

Hopefully, you do...

We think it's what He intended.

If we were all born knowing innately all of the truths this world holds then I don't think there would have been much of a purpose for Jesus in the first place.

But Jesus is one awesome guy.

And I think he might would've liked Explosions in the Sky...

And I know He loved you.

With or without doubts.

Praying with an ache... Driving in the rain...

2009-03-28T10:34:00.005-04:00

I got up early this morning. Early for a Saturday anyway...

Had to do an appearance as the Mic-Man for Walk MS of Athens. It was raining and walks don't tend to do too well in the rain, but people showed, and people walked, and we appeared so all is right and well in the world.

The coolest thing about this morning, though, was not the Walk or the rain or the waking up early. The coolest thing about this morning is that God is somehow in the Shuffle feature of my iPod. I didn't know this. I've believed it at times, but He confirmed it this morning and showed up right there in the Shuffle button. Crazy...

Towards the start of my drive one of Rob Bell's podcasts came on called, "Praying with an Ache". The man is truly a talented teacher and speaker, and I can never seem to get enough of what he shares. This morning his message spoke volumes in my life.

In Psalm 77 Asaph cries out to God from the depths of his soul for understanding and knowledge. At times we, with our polite prayer tendencies and unemotional prayers, would probably think lightning should have come down at any minute and killed Asaph for the way he challenges God, yet God withholds. And the question arises that maybe, if God withheld wrath on Asaph for his emotional cries for understanding, just maybe, God isn't so much longing for our politeness to Him but instead our true hearts' cry. Maybe He wants the depths of our souls, and we continually withhold because church or life or manners or whatever have taught us to have tact even in the most private of our conversations with God. A God that created the universe probably isn't buying our polite conversation. I doubt that we're fooling Him into thinking that everything is fine when it isn't, and I doubt He created those things that well up within us dying to be released simply for us to stifle them.

But then there's me, and I get in the way of myself a lot.

I'm a strong advocate of tact and manners especially in everyday life. I think that there's been a complete decline in the values and manners that people seemed to innately born with in the past. I'm 23. I'm not about to go on a rant about how great things use to be. I don't know how they use to be. I've heard how they use to be, and I like the sound of it, but I've also heard of the Crusades and World Wars, and that doesn't sound too appealing so maybe people have sugar-coated it all just for my benefit. But I grew up in a small town, and I put stock in manners, and Rob Bell telling me that God really doesn't want my manners in my prayer, what He really wants are those other things that we've all been taught to keep on the inside, may be a little too much for me right now.

But then I'm still driving in the rain, and I'm listening. I get on the Loop around Athens. (Like 285 only way smaller.) And I drive some more. And I listen some more. And there's this constant noise of driving in the rain...

Pitter patter on my windshield, tires on the road, windshield wipers back and forth, and Rob Bell speaking... And then Verse 9...

Selah

I drive under an overpass. The rain stops and all the noises stop and Rob Bell talks about the sacred pause in Psalms called Selah...

And I get it.

This was one of those moments when all the noises of the world disappears, and you're begging for this moment of silence to last longer than it should because this isn't just a moment of silence. This is a Selah, a sacred pause to your life, and you want to live in it. It brings something different and new in your life. Change. And you truly wish you could live in it and embrace it forever. But it's fleeting. Lasting only moments.

And you can't live in this Selah. And you can't live under the overpass.

People that live under overpasses disconnect from the world. You've been called to live in the world.

And a sacred pause is just that. A pause.

So you take with you this moment of silence and pause and reflection, and you take it out from under the overpass, back out into the pitter patter on the windshield, and the tires on the road, and windshield wipers moving back and forth, and Rob Bell speaking...

Yet you are different already.

And now, maybe you, maybe I, maybe we...

Pray with an ache and drive through the rain.

The twisted straight and narrow...

2009-03-26T15:56:00.000-04:00

I've sat here for a few minutes wondering how to start this... How to sound intelligent and mature and not cliche' and make this endeavor into blogging something worthwhile.

I want this to be relaxing and encouraging and to feel good. I want it to challenge me and make me more open when I'm far too often very closed.

I want to write about my career, of course, and my opinions, definitely, but I want to be open to writing about deeper and more complex things and also stupid, meaningless things that only I care about.

I want to find a way to make this mine and to write it for me, and not for those that might read this or may read this because as much as it may be for you it should more be for me.

And I want to do all those things with class...

"You stay classy, San Diego." (Or Athens, or Byron, or Atlanta, or Warner Robins, wherever I am.)

Trust me when I tell you that I expect more of myself than almost anyone else... And I fail often. And no I'm not depressed about it. It's life.

My life can best be summed up with the above statement... "The twisted straight and narrow..."

Christ holds me and loves me and bore my sins and He is my refiner... And I'm being worked on.

Bring it on, web log...