/THE MELODY AND THE NOISE/

It didn't seem to take nearly the two hours that usually lull me to sleep when driving it myself. And this is mostly because I spent the time with some great guys that have made this last year of college so worthwhile...

I can say with confidence that I would gladly have stuck around an extra year in Athens just to play music with these bandos. They are so extraordinarily talented, and not only have they continued to play with this immense talent that God's given them, but they've also strived to get better every step of the way...

If we never play another gig together, I know that while we played we were one of the tightest-knit groups I've ever seen when it comes to playing worship music...

Too often in this new scene of praise and worship churches have begun to hire out on a weekly basis for professional musicians...

And don't get me wrong...

They're absolutely getting what they pay for. They're getting a quality set every Sunday, and people certainly respond to it from a worship standpoint, which I would think in the end is the true goal, but...

One of the greatest things about doing worship music over the past 8 years or so of my life hasn't been so much the leading on the stage, but the growing with the band backstage...

More life change and growth has happened for me as a musician from growing with a set group of people pursuing a missional goal than anything else...

We push each other. And argue with each other. And create together. And love one another...

There's no way to create that kind of relationship playing together once every couple of weeks with random people...

Again, let me reiterate. I'm not knocking the current model. It absolutely works and works well for the congregations each week...

But, I worry for the musicians...

Are they being truly challenged in a way that they can respond to?

Growth is a personal endeavor for sure. If I'm not attempting to grow myself then no one's going to grow me...

I'm pretty confident that the musicians selected are striving for personal growth on their own time. These churches wouldn't use them if they didn't think that they could confidently put these individuals on stage if they didn't represent Christ in our world...

But there is something to be said for the growth of musicians surrounded by musicians...

A musician forced to work on his craft and his life around people that truly know what he's capable of and going through...

It's vulnerability...

And it's life-changing...

And it's just the type of small group that we should strive for regarding all our attenders...

So, why have we chosen to break this up?

For the quality of worship?

For the guarantee of yet another flawless Sunday?

Yes and yes... But let's consider this...

Doing something with excellence should mean doing what's best for all those involved...

The people on stage as well as off it...

I'm currently listening to Explosions in the Sky...

I got up early this morning. Early for a Saturday anyway...

Had to do an appearance as the Mic-Man for Walk MS of Athens. It was raining and walks don't tend to do too well in the rain, but people showed, and people walked, and we appeared so all is right and well in the world.

The coolest thing about this morning, though, was not the Walk or the rain or the waking up early. The coolest thing about this morning is that God is somehow in the Shuffle feature of my iPod. I didn't know this. I've believed it at times, but He confirmed it this morning and showed up right there in the Shuffle button. Crazy...

Towards the start of my drive one of Rob Bell's podcasts came on called, "Praying with an Ache". The man is truly a talented teacher and speaker, and I can never seem to get enough of what he shares. This morning his message spoke volumes in my life.

In Psalm 77 Asaph cries out to God from the depths of his soul for understanding and knowledge. At times we, with our polite prayer tendencies and unemotional prayers, would probably think lightning should have come down at any minute and killed Asaph for the way he challenges God, yet God withholds. And the question arises that maybe, if God withheld wrath on Asaph for his emotional cries for understanding, just maybe, God isn't so much longing for our politeness to Him but instead our true hearts' cry. Maybe He wants the depths of our souls, and we continually withhold because church or life or manners or whatever have taught us to have tact even in the most private of our conversations with God. A God that created the universe probably isn't buying our polite conversation. I doubt that we're fooling Him into thinking that everything is fine when it isn't, and I doubt He created those things that well up within us dying to be released simply for us to stifle them.

But then there's me, and I get in the way of myself a lot.

I'm a strong advocate of tact and manners especially in everyday life. I think that there's been a complete decline in the values and manners that people seemed to innately born with in the past. I'm 23. I'm not about to go on a rant about how great things use to be. I don't know how they use to be. I've heard how they use to be, and I like the sound of it, but I've also heard of the Crusades and World Wars, and that doesn't sound too appealing so maybe people have sugar-coated it all just for my benefit. But I grew up in a small town, and I put stock in manners, and Rob Bell telling me that God really doesn't want my manners in my prayer, what He really wants are those other things that we've all been taught to keep on the inside, may be a little too much for me right now.

But then I'm still driving in the rain, and I'm listening. I get on the Loop around Athens. (Like 285 only way smaller.) And I drive some more. And I listen some more. And there's this constant noise of driving in the rain...

Pitter patter on my windshield, tires on the road, windshield wipers back and forth, and Rob Bell speaking... And then Verse 9...

I drive under an overpass. The rain stops and all the noises stop and Rob Bell talks about the sacred pause in Psalms called Selah...

And I get it.

This was one of those moments when all the noises of the world disappears, and you're begging for this moment of silence to last longer than it should because this isn't just a moment of silence. This is a Selah, a sacred pause to your life, and you want to live in it. It brings something different and new in your life. Change. And you truly wish you could live in it and embrace it forever. But it's fleeting. Lasting only moments.

And you can't live in this Selah. And you can't live under the overpass.

People that live under overpasses disconnect from the world. You've been called to live in the world.

And a sacred pause is just that. A pause.

So you take with you this moment of silence and pause and reflection, and you take it out from under the overpass, back out into the pitter patter on the windshield, and the tires on the road, and windshield wipers moving back and forth, and Rob Bell speaking...

Yet you are different already.

And now, maybe you, maybe I, maybe we...

Pray with an ache and drive through the rain.