Master bathroom
9 years ago
Catching up...
So I haven't written in far too long. My deepest apologies. It's just been a hectic few weeks getting readjusted to life back in my childhood home. Figuring out where I fit in, and what to do, and how to live. Not to mention I've taken a couple of days and exited back to Athens or Atlanta so getting settled in has been kind of impossible...
And with recent developments...
Getting settled...
Is again...
On hold.
I don't know if you know this, but I thought I would share with you if you don't...
Towards the end of this year I will go on staff with Longleaf Church, a partner of North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. We will start services in January and do preview services October-December. One of the best opportunities of my life. I'm so blessed to have the chance to work with such a great organization, especially as my "first" job. I honestly can't wait!
But... I do have to wait...
Seeing as we're not launching until January, I'm gonna have to find some work in the meantime. I'll do as much as I can with Longleaf until launch, but between now and then I've got mouths to feed! (Mostly just mine.)
So what to do in the interim?
Well, here's the answer...
Ready for the updates? I don't know if you are... To be honest I don't know if I am...
The rundown.
May 09 - I graduated.
May 16 - I moved from Athens, GA back to Byron, GA. Peach County. Land of my youth. Back in with my parents. Great people. But forever and always my parents... (For the record, it hasn't been so bad so far...)
May 18-22 - I stayed in Savannah for a week with that hot girlfriend I've got and her fam. They're good people too.
Through the next week. I led some worship and went to the Hillsong United concert and for the most part started to settle into life back in Middle Georgia. It actually was going pretty well, but the biggest need for me was the need for a job. So I started to look. Stuck some applications out there. Hoped for the best. Living the dream...
June 03 - That hot girl I like so much left for Ireland. I didn't cry, but if I had known how bad this was gonna suck I might have. Skype is awesome, but it doesn't quite do justice to an actual living, breathing person right in front of you. Ho hum, I'll survive. Moving on...
June 03-07 - Traveled around the greater metro-Atlanta area and into Athens for a few days organizing my life and truly exiting out of Athens completely.
At this point the interim job search has started to clarify itself...
Came home after that trip, and I've been in Byron, yet again, attempting to settle and find some work. Had a couple of conversations, but I didn't know what to make of it all just yet.
And then...
It all seemed to click...
Imagine shaking up a box with a puzzle in it, opening it, letting the pieces fall to the floor in all the right places...
Okay... Maybe not that dramatic... Or awesome...
But close.
Alas, finally to the point of all this...
Through the course of those few weeks I made contact with a lot of people and churches where I could best use my gifts in the mean time...
It worked...
The band and I are booked to lead worship through the rest of this month as well as August through December...
(We still have dates open in July though, as well as, a few August through December. Contact me!)
(What a shameless plug that was!)
(Well, I mean it is my blog. And my band. I am so allowed to do that!)
Back on track...
I've also gotten some interest in my graphic design work from a lot of folks, and I've been contracted out to do design for 2-3 churches and companies...
So that's awesome... Playing music and designing graphic stuff... Solid money in general, but neither of those things are permanent or guaranteed. I could go 3 weeks with tons to do and then 4 with nothing... Hmmm...
I need and like some permanancy...
And Roswell Street Baptist Church has been so gracious in obliging me with that!
When they heard that I wouldn't be hired until later this year with Longleaf they asked if I wouldn't mind joining them in their journey for a little while...
And of course I wouldn't mind doing that!
And so...
(Drum roll now. Finally.)
THE BIG NEWS!!!
This Saturday I will be making the move to Marietta, Georgia to live for the rest of the summer and possibly into the fall a bit. I'll be working with Roswell Street Baptist as an intern basically doing what I'll be doing with Longleaf. Organzing some systems, working on production, graphic design, and living the dream as an intern, which basically means a lot of grunt work too. It's good for me!!! We can't all do the glamorous stuff all the time... Not unless I get really, really famous one day....
It is a huge blessing. They'll be housing me for free which is a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders, and I'll get to work in an environment that will be hugely beneficial to my growth and development.
Could it be any more perfect?
Doubtful...
And that my friends is why faith will cast out all fear...
He will provide. Fear not...
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
Believe me when I say that I had my doubts, but I know that He has a purpose for me... For us all.
He will come through...
Two songs that have been blowing me up lately... So pertinent...
Of course they're Hillsong... :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You'll Come
Verse 1
I have decided I have resolved
To wait upon you Lord
My rock and redeemer shall not be moved
I?ll wait upon you Lord
Pre Chorus
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears
Chorus
You'll come let your glory fall
As you respond to us
Spirit reign flood our hearts
With holy fire again
Verse 2
We are not shaken we are not moved
We wait upon you Lord
Our Mighty deliverer my triumph and truth
I'll wait upon you Lord
Bridge
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
With Everything
VERSE 1:
Open our eyes
To see the things that make Your heart cry
To be the church that You would desire
Your light to be seen
VERSE 2:
Break down our pride
And all the walls we’ve built up inside
Our earthly crowns and all our desires
We lay at Your feet
PRE CHORUS:
Let hope rise
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light
That every eye will see
Jesus our God
Great and mighty to be praised
VERSE 3:
God of all days
Glorious in all of Your ways
Oh the majesty the wonder and grace
In the light of Your Name
CHORUS:
With everything
With everything
We will shout for Your glory
With everything
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise
CHORUS 2:
Our hearts they cry
Be glorified
Be lifted high above all names
For You our King
With everything
We will shout forth Your praise
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm loving it...
'Til next time...
Latest endeavor...
////////////////////////////////////////
There is hope
There is change
There is a joy in Your name
Won't You carry me
There is grace
There is love
And there is peace through Your blood
Won't You carry me
Won't You carry me
////////////////////////////////////////
I find myself in one of the most interesting situations of my life...
Some days I'm really unsure of what's to come...
But today...
I'm totally at peace...
Totally stoked for whatever is coming my way...
And don't get me wrong... I still don't know what I'm doing... Like, literally at all...
But goodness, when was the last time you could say that?!
When was the last time you didn't know what tomorrow would bring?!
As of right now I don't have to set an alarm tomorrow morning...
But it's possible that before this day is over something may come up that changes that completely...
I may even have to wake up before dawn, heaven forbid...
But I revel in that fact right now...
So awesome...
And He is so faithful...
There really is hope and peace and love and change through Him...
How could I ever doubt how blessed I really am?!
So this is my latest endeavor...
Today I started a new song...
Tomorrow I'll do something else...
Or maybe not...
And it may keep raining...
Or maybe not...
Either way...
There is certainly hope...
Graduation should come with a Terms of Agreement...
So goodbye didn't exactly happen as expected...
To be honest, the moving out, nor the boxing things up, nor the process in general happened as expected...
But regardless, I find myself at the same desk with the same computer 100 miles from my previous blogging locale...
And at this all important crossroads in my life, you would think I would have huge, insightful words full of depth and truth...
Not so much.
You see, I thought I would spend the last week in my college hometown "livin' the dream", but by the time I realized what was happening, everyone was already gone...
Graduation takes so much energy and time that you don't even realize a lot of people you may never see again have already headed out...
And it makes me kinda sad...
Not like I'm gonna cry or anything... Just a little ache that life would change so quickly without so much as a chance to evaluate the correct way to do the goodbye thing...
If there is a correct way...
Do I sound devastated?
I'm not... Really, I'm not... Just early nostalgia, maybe...
I don't doubt that God has placed me on a path moving towards a goal both of which hard to see at this point...
But I still have my faith that there is something out there worth moving towards...
Longleaf Church is already a beautiful, wonderful thing...
My family has always been a beautiful, wonderful thing...
And me back in Middle Georgia may very easily prove to be a beautiful, wonderful thing...
It even excites me a little... The opportunity to get to relearn my old stomping grounds with 5 years of college behind me...
Things already look different...
They're not rose-colored, but they're certainly not bleak either...
They just look different...
And I'd say that five years ago, I probably looked a little different as well...
I'd like to think we're both a little prettier now...
And maybe I am seeing things through those rose-colored lenses after all...
Life changes...
My life changed...
Stick with me...
It's about to be an exciting ride...
(Sometimes I am way too cliche'... Noted.)
A band is banded together...
The ride back from Warner Robins yesterday may have been one of the best rides from my home to Athens ever...
It didn't seem to take nearly the two hours that usually lull me to sleep when driving it myself. And this is mostly because I spent the time with some great guys that have made this last year of college so worthwhile...
I can say with confidence that I would gladly have stuck around an extra year in Athens just to play music with these bandos. They are so extraordinarily talented, and not only have they continued to play with this immense talent that God's given them, but they've also strived to get better every step of the way...
If we never play another gig together, I know that while we played we were one of the tightest-knit groups I've ever seen when it comes to playing worship music...
Too often in this new scene of praise and worship churches have begun to hire out on a weekly basis for professional musicians...
And don't get me wrong...
They're absolutely getting what they pay for. They're getting a quality set every Sunday, and people certainly respond to it from a worship standpoint, which I would think in the end is the true goal, but...
One of the greatest things about doing worship music over the past 8 years or so of my life hasn't been so much the leading on the stage, but the growing with the band backstage...
More life change and growth has happened for me as a musician from growing with a set group of people pursuing a missional goal than anything else...
We push each other. And argue with each other. And create together. And love one another...
There's no way to create that kind of relationship playing together once every couple of weeks with random people...
Again, let me reiterate. I'm not knocking the current model. It absolutely works and works well for the congregations each week...
But, I worry for the musicians...
Are they being truly challenged in a way that they can respond to?
Growth is a personal endeavor for sure. If I'm not attempting to grow myself then no one's going to grow me...
I'm pretty confident that the musicians selected are striving for personal growth on their own time. These churches wouldn't use them if they didn't think that they could confidently put these individuals on stage if they didn't represent Christ in our world...
But there is something to be said for the growth of musicians surrounded by musicians...
A musician forced to work on his craft and his life around people that truly know what he's capable of and going through...
It's vulnerability...
And it's life-changing...
And it's just the type of small group that we should strive for regarding all our attenders...
So, why have we chosen to break this up?
For the quality of worship?
For the guarantee of yet another flawless Sunday?
Yes and yes... But let's consider this...
Doing something with excellence should mean doing what's best for all those involved...
The people on stage as well as off it...
Explosions in the Sky...
I'm currently listening to Explosions in the Sky...
The band...
Hence, the use of capitalization... It lets the reader know I mean the band...
Not literal explosions in the sky...
Although, real explosions in the sky would probably require some serious capitalization...
And, yes, I really do get that off track that quickly...
Explosions in the Sky could possibly be one of the greatest bands ever. Most of you would recognize their music from the movie and TV show, "Friday Night Lights". (Which, by the way, is one of the best shows on television, but that's a discussion for another time.) Their music has no lyrics or vocalization. They create their music with only their instruments... and... it... is... so... good...
You can focus in on it, and really listen and analyze it, or you can do what I'm doing now and allow it to be the background noise/awesomeness, while you do something else. Either way works perfectly fine, and I'm highly recommending it as blogging music.
The funny thing is that I'm writing all this with the firm realization, that my last blog was epic in depth and breadth and thought, and I'm hoping that backing away from that kind of writing is simply OK.
I'm sure it's not the greatest piece of writing any of you have ever read, but it left me with some serious thoughts to ponder, and from some of your responses it seemed to resonate at least a little. And this isn't pride talking. This is realization setting in...
Writing a blog like that is hard work.
And I'm not smart enough or old enough or maybe even mature enough to be trying to act like I know what I'm talking about all the time...
Besides... I'm new to this whole blogging thing again, and I don't want to feel nailed down to produce mind-blowing/mind-numbing bits of prose every time I take a minute to share my thoughts... It could mean something really terrible... Like you thinking that I live my life thinking that deep and profound all the time.
I don't...
Sometimes, I think as simple as...
Explosions in the Sky is really awesome.
And I wanted to share that with you.
Because I really like them
And also, I want you to know something else.
And this is way out of left field, but it's where my head is tonight...
It's where I'm struggling to not be too dramatic and deep but feeling like this is way more important than telling you about an awesome band.
This is the quote/unquote, "important part".
It really is OK to have doubts about your faith.
No one should hate you for that. No one should expect you to be secure all the time with the idea that God sent His Son to die for your sins, and that you don't deserve it, but He did it anyway because He loves you, and this thing is called grace, and you had pretty much nothing to do with it, and all you're suppose to do is accept it no questions asked...
Questions should be asked.
And this is not the mindset of a lot of people in church.
But there are some places where people do believe this. Where it's easy to ask the tough questions, and to not have to know it all. Where you could have gone to church your whole life or never at all, and there's a place for you to fit in.
Where, you ask...
Well... If you don't know this, I'm in the process of helping to plant a church in Warner Robins, GA called Longleaf Church. It will be an amazing place for relationships and music and truth and love, and hopefully, one day, it will be very full of people asking really hard questions about all of these things, and relationships will be built to help people through those questions.
This place should be and will be a place where having doubts means your growing and learning, and where your building relationships... Not only with the people around you, but with a God who loves you because as those hard questions get answered your faith grows.
And, maybe you find a loving God on the other side of those doubts.
Hopefully, you do...
We think it's what He intended.
If we were all born knowing innately all of the truths this world holds then I don't think there would have been much of a purpose for Jesus in the first place.
But Jesus is one awesome guy.
And I think he might would've liked Explosions in the Sky...
And I know He loved you.
With or without doubts.
Praying with an ache... Driving in the rain...
I got up early this morning. Early for a Saturday anyway...
Had to do an appearance as the Mic-Man for Walk MS of Athens. It was raining and walks don't tend to do too well in the rain, but people showed, and people walked, and we appeared so all is right and well in the world.
The coolest thing about this morning, though, was not the Walk or the rain or the waking up early. The coolest thing about this morning is that God is somehow in the Shuffle feature of my iPod. I didn't know this. I've believed it at times, but He confirmed it this morning and showed up right there in the Shuffle button. Crazy...
Towards the start of my drive one of Rob Bell's podcasts came on called, "Praying with an Ache". The man is truly a talented teacher and speaker, and I can never seem to get enough of what he shares. This morning his message spoke volumes in my life.
In Psalm 77 Asaph cries out to God from the depths of his soul for understanding and knowledge. At times we, with our polite prayer tendencies and unemotional prayers, would probably think lightning should have come down at any minute and killed Asaph for the way he challenges God, yet God withholds. And the question arises that maybe, if God withheld wrath on Asaph for his emotional cries for understanding, just maybe, God isn't so much longing for our politeness to Him but instead our true hearts' cry. Maybe He wants the depths of our souls, and we continually withhold because church or life or manners or whatever have taught us to have tact even in the most private of our conversations with God. A God that created the universe probably isn't buying our polite conversation. I doubt that we're fooling Him into thinking that everything is fine when it isn't, and I doubt He created those things that well up within us dying to be released simply for us to stifle them.
But then there's me, and I get in the way of myself a lot.
I'm a strong advocate of tact and manners especially in everyday life. I think that there's been a complete decline in the values and manners that people seemed to innately born with in the past. I'm 23. I'm not about to go on a rant about how great things use to be. I don't know how they use to be. I've heard how they use to be, and I like the sound of it, but I've also heard of the Crusades and World Wars, and that doesn't sound too appealing so maybe people have sugar-coated it all just for my benefit. But I grew up in a small town, and I put stock in manners, and Rob Bell telling me that God really doesn't want my manners in my prayer, what He really wants are those other things that we've all been taught to keep on the inside, may be a little too much for me right now.
But then I'm still driving in the rain, and I'm listening. I get on the Loop around Athens. (Like 285 only way smaller.) And I drive some more. And I listen some more. And there's this constant noise of driving in the rain...
Pitter patter on my windshield, tires on the road, windshield wipers back and forth, and Rob Bell speaking... And then Verse 9...
Selah
I drive under an overpass. The rain stops and all the noises stop and Rob Bell talks about the sacred pause in Psalms called Selah...
And I get it.
This was one of those moments when all the noises of the world disappears, and you're begging for this moment of silence to last longer than it should because this isn't just a moment of silence. This is a Selah, a sacred pause to your life, and you want to live in it. It brings something different and new in your life. Change. And you truly wish you could live in it and embrace it forever. But it's fleeting. Lasting only moments.
And you can't live in this Selah. And you can't live under the overpass.
People that live under overpasses disconnect from the world. You've been called to live in the world.
And a sacred pause is just that. A pause.
So you take with you this moment of silence and pause and reflection, and you take it out from under the overpass, back out into the pitter patter on the windshield, and the tires on the road, and windshield wipers moving back and forth, and Rob Bell speaking...
Yet you are different already.
And now, maybe you, maybe I, maybe we...
Pray with an ache and drive through the rain.
The twisted straight and narrow...
I've sat here for a few minutes wondering how to start this... How to sound intelligent and mature and not cliche' and make this endeavor into blogging something worthwhile.
I want this to be relaxing and encouraging and to feel good. I want it to challenge me and make me more open when I'm far too often very closed.
I want to write about my career, of course, and my opinions, definitely, but I want to be open to writing about deeper and more complex things and also stupid, meaningless things that only I care about.
I want to find a way to make this mine and to write it for me, and not for those that might read this or may read this because as much as it may be for you it should more be for me.
And I want to do all those things with class...
"You stay classy, San Diego." (Or Athens, or Byron, or Atlanta, or Warner Robins, wherever I am.)
Trust me when I tell you that I expect more of myself than almost anyone else... And I fail often. And no I'm not depressed about it. It's life.
My life can best be summed up with the above statement... "The twisted straight and narrow..."
Christ holds me and loves me and bore my sins and He is my refiner... And I'm being worked on.
Bring it on, web log...
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